Calm body. Clean asks. Steady connection you can feel.
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You spiral when they don't text back within an hour
You over-explain every ask and build a case for why you deserve reassurance
You analyze every interaction, replaying conversations to figure out what went wrong
You chase when they pull back, even though you know it pushes them further away
Your body feels like it's on fire when connection feels uncertain
You've been told you're "too much" or "too needy" and you're starting to believe it
Your nervous system learned that urgency saves connection. When you were young, being quiet meant being forgotten. Expressing needs meant getting dismissed. So your body learned to amplify - to chase, to explain, to prove you're worth keeping.
Your pattern is not a character flaw. It's a survival strategy that's working overtime.
The work isn't to become less. It's to give your body evidence that safety is possible without urgency. That connection can exist without constant proof. That you can ask once and trust the answer.
15-20 minutes each. Watch on your own time. Covers nervous system regulation, clean communication, and repair strategies.
20+ copy-paste scripts for asking, repairing, setting boundaries, and de-escalating. Use them word-for-word or adapt to your voice.
3-5 minute exercises to regulate your nervous system in real time. Do them before you text, after conflict, when urgency hits.
Printable PDF with reflection prompts, checklists, and tracking tools. Map your patterns and watch progress unfold.
Step-by-step framework for coming back after conflict. Includes timing guide, language scripts, and what not to do.
Revisit anytime. Life gets loud, patterns resurface. Come back when you need a reset.
You'll learn why urgency feels like safety and how your nervous system got wired for anxiety.
You'll build a toolkit of micro-practices that actually calm the nervous system when urgency spikes.
You'll learn to ask for what you need without over-explaining or building a case for your worth.
You'll build the skills to recover from conflict and maintain regulation long-term.
"I stopped texting him five times when he didn't respond. Now I send one message and trust that he'll reply when he can. The anxiety in my chest is still there sometimes, but it doesn't run the show anymore."
"The clean ask changed everything. I used to write paragraphs explaining why I needed reassurance. Now I just say 'I need to know we're okay. Can we check in tonight?' and he actually responds better to it."
"I didn't realize how much energy I was spending on analyzing every conversation until I stopped doing it. The regulation drills gave me something to do with my hands when the spiral started. Game changer."
Plan for 1-1.5 hours per week. Three 15-20 minute video lessons, plus daily 3-5 minute regulation drills. You can go faster or slower based on your schedule.
No. The tools work whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship. If you're single, you'll learn these patterns before the next relationship. If you're in a relationship, you'll see changes immediately.
Yes. Week 4 includes specific co-regulation strategies for anxious-avoidant dynamics. You'll learn how to ask in ways that don't trigger their withdrawal, and how to stay calm when they need space.
No. This is psychoeducation and skills training. I'm not a therapist. This program teaches you tools and frameworks based on attachment theory and nervous system regulation. If you're in crisis, please call 988.
You get lifetime access to the materials, so you can revisit anytime. I also offer 1:1 sessions if you want personalized support. And there are other programs if you need to go deeper.
Yes. 30-day money-back guarantee. If you go through week 1 and the program isn't right for you, email me for a full refund. No questions asked.
Understanding your pattern is step one. But insight alone doesn't change behavior. This program focuses on nervous system regulation first - giving your body new experiences, not just new information. Scripts, drills, and practices you use this week, not someday.
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Not sure if this is right for you? Take the quiz to see your pattern, or book a session to talk it through.